And now...

It's here. I got my glycerin and aloe in the mail today, and I have spiked EVERYTHING with it. Shampoo, conditioner and I've made a spritz out of it. Glycerin over kill, anyone? :p

From the first spritz, it feels very moist. The smell (and taste) reminds me of LongAid curl activator. Which use to be my favorite gel back in the day. But I am loving this very moisturized feeling. I can fell the moisture from the air being attracted to my hands!! This is pretty nice.. I think my little dreads are gonna love this product. :) And it feels great that I've made it myself. I actually think if it continues to work so well, I can actually sell this product. Feeling my loose hair, I think it will work on loose nappies too. (As a freeformer I have both types of hair, locked and loose.) I have to work on the measurements but I think it will work well.

I probably will keep searching for my aloe though. This one has too many ingredients in it. And it's mostly polysaccharides. I want 100% aloe gel if it exists.. Or aloe juice would be even better, since I'm locked and I don't twist. The juice will mix in water better.. Maybe.. Personally I don't see anything wrong with the gel, but trial and error will give a better end product.

Well, this is the beginning of the first trial testing of my first home made product. Hopefully all will go well. Oh, and I've decided to start writing again. My first book will be about, you guessed it, growing locs and natural hair. :) You gotta do what you love, so you'll love what you do. :)


Jen

Better Now...

I think I'm finally over the whole loose hair obsession now. I guess since my ends came loose on some of my locs and see the loose hair, I feel I'm much happier than I would be loose. I love these locs. And I ain't cuttin' 'em ever. :)

I am looking forward to the future of my dreads. How long they'll get... How long they'll be once I get to the 5 year mark. Honestly, they are almost as long now as I assumed they'd be at 5 years now. :p I was looking for really slow growth, but they are gettin' down there! Not that I was obsessed with LENGTH, still it's nice to seem 'em all flowin' and I look forward to see how long they'll be 10 years from NOW.. Or even at the 10 year mark.

I've been thinking about back when I was obsessed with straight hair and how long ago that seems. I don't even WANT straight hair now.. It's boring and overly fake. I was born kinky and curly and I plan to stay that way for life. It is actually kinda stupid to want something you weren't born with so bad that you're willing to hurt your self to get it. I'm glad I'm more balanced in the head than I once have been.

I'm still waiting for my glycerine and aloe to get here. Man that company is slow as shit with shipping. I'll know next time to find another company. <_< And for this long ass wait, their products better be pure and GOOD..

Well, I guess that's all for now.

Tah...


Jen

The things I do.. :p

Well, I was planning to just rinse my dreads out real quick yesterday.. Simple enough. Then for some reason, I got the notion to slather my hair.. MY DRY HAIR with Suave conditioner. Just straight up.. I put it in a pony tail, got in the shower.. After the shower, I rinsed it out real good.. And today, It's so soft. It was soft before I even spritzed and oiled again. cool.. New trick for rinsing maybe? yeah Maybe. :p

I can't wait until my glycerin and aloe gets here. I'm serious I'm on a moisture kick like nobody's business! I've put aloe in my hair before, when I had a curl. It was alright, but it didn't add any shine. I figured it would make a cheaper activator. (Aloe was only like $! a bottle then since most people only used it for cooling off after being in the sun.. Hmmm.. Maybe it still is that cheap.. I'll look next time I need some. But I got the good stuff first.. Not too crazy about the $5 bucks shipping though. <_<

Oh well, you gotta pay sometimes. And it is cheaper than some of the stuff I see for sale costing upwards of $30 for a tiny ass bottle. Even I'm not that stupid. :p OK, maybe I am, but I don't ahve the $30 to spend.. *blushes*


Well, this was just a small post. I'm trying to be more active on this thing. Make use of it.. :)

Ta Ta...

Jen

New Products for the dreads. :)

Well, I decided to break down and buy some glycerin. I've been hearing about it's moisturizing benefits for natural hair, and decided to give it a try. I haven't gotten it yet, as I just bought it today, but I can't wait for it to get here. :) I also ordered some Aloe Gel. I plan to mix them together into a spritz and see how it works. I know my broke ass don't need to be spending all this money, but they were pretty cheap. 16oz bottles for $8 bucks together. I'm hoping this works out well because I am on a serious moisture kick. After my cowash the other day, or was it yesterday? Anyway, my hair feels so soft. At first it felt like it was getting hard as normal when it first got dry, but after I spritzed today with some oil and water and gave it a good seal with some oil, it feels soft, and the conditioner gave it a great smell. Much better than just rinsing alone. I wouldn't cowash exclusively though as I think it would eventually build up on my dreads, making them look dull and dirty. Not to mention slightly sticky and then lint would start to stick and that would just be a great big hot MESS. LoL.. Nah, we ain't goin' there.

I think I'm over my 'cut lust' for the moment. I'm trying to focus on treating my locs like regular natural hair than just acting like they are just THERE. This will keep my interest. I find though I have a highly spiritual connection with my locs, that's what made me cut my hair all the time. Boredom. I got bored with it and cutting it gave me something new. And I must say since I've been shopping for my locs and touching them (constantly!!), I feel reconnected with them.

Well, when the products arrive, I'll give my hair a good wash (if I can WAIT!! I may just start spritzin' it on.. I think I will.. Unless it arrives on my wash day. :p )and start spritzing it up. This, if all goes according to plan, will be my new routine..

Shampooing: Once a week

Cowash: Around day 3

Rinsing: every other day, if I feel like it.

Spritzing: A mix of water, aloe, glycerin, and a HINT of scented oil, used daily. I spritz daily anyway, so this doesn't really change.

It's basically the same routine I've always had, except with a lot more rinsing and washing. ^_^

Well, that's all for now. More later. :)

Jen

I've been thinking a lot about things these days. I last posted about the racism I experienced in the G of A. Well, I think it did something to me.. Something that I don't like. It's not the first instance of racism I've ever encountered, but it seems like it's about to be the last straw before the camel's back breaks.

And I don't want that to happen. So how do you stop others from influencing your feelings? I don't know.. I once had the magic pill that would stop all my pains from the negativity, but it seems I can't get there anymore. I can't center myself these days. I don't think any amount of herbs and inscents can change that. But something has to be done.

I think this is partially why I keep getting the urge to cut my dreads and start over. (Again, not gonna happen. But the thoughts are definately there.) I've experienced a lot of pain in the last year or so. I've made so many mistakes in just a short time and I'd love to start over. But simply cutting my dreads off and thinking that is gonna give me the fresh start I seek is just damned foolish. I'd just end up missing my dreads, though I'm sure I'd LIKE my loose natural hair, it wouldn't be the same. These locs are like a part of my body. Not to just be cast off because you think you can gain some sort of purification from cutting it off.

So I've been trying to satisfy both needs, at least in the hair department. The other stuff your guess is as good as mine what I can do about it. Those answers, I believe, will come in due time. But as far as my hair and my 'cut lust', I'm going to get all into these locs. Caring for them, learning about them, observing them. Making them as strong and beautiful as I can. Like a well loved flower or tree.. A garden I guess would be the best image. Watering it daily and nourishing it. Right now, it's kinda brittle from dryness. I was reading on http://www.nappturality.com/ that your hair can have too much protein. It makes sense as you can EAT too much protein, I guess your hair only needs so much. I did the little strand test, and they are definately solid from protein, but they are dry as they have no stretch before they just snap. They are very... VERY strong in some cases, but there is no give. And I can see the dryness in just touching and feeling it. I have added cowashing to my routine in hopes that I can get some moisture. I've been using the Suave, which for the amount of conditioner I'll be using up, it's the best choice price wise. Dreads just DRINK up conditioner AND shampoo. I plan to keep washing once a week, but if I'm not seeing any improvment in moisture, and my hair shows no signs of build up, I may bump that back a week to twice a month. Cowashing with the Vanilla Floral scent Suave makes my hair smell pretty clean and look as good as it would if I had washed it, but I believe my scalp can tell the difference, so I can't ELIMINATE shampoo all together, but I can hold off on it. After my cowashing today, my hair actually feels soft, but I also know it's not dry yet. Plus, I can see my little loosened ends and I could NOT handle that all over my head. I'd lose it. All the breakage I see there alone.. There is no way I'm even READY to have loose hair. LoL.. I commend those who are holdin' it down with the loose coils.. But this stuff is meant for locs, and I know this.. But still.... Doesn't make me not THINK about all that light loose hair. :p

Well, anyway. As I was saying. I can't afford all kinds of new products, plus ever product is protein rich and my hair has had enough of that. (Grasias, Pantene. ) I would like to get my hands on either some glycerin, or a product rich in vitamins and glycerin.. That should keep it moist.. Plus I'm wondering what are the benefits of spiking my conditioner with oil? If oil is not a moisturizer alone, and it just seals in moisture, if I'm putting oil in my conditioners, am I sealing IN moisture, or sealing my hair off from the conditioner? It's totally a mystery. I'll have to ask my gals on Nappturality about that. Givin' me a little hair-ache.. :p

Well, I've talked in circles long enough.. What have I left out? (Thinks to self.) Wanna snippy snippy, check... No snippy... check... Dry... Check..

Yeah, I think I've covered it pretty well for now. :) So... Later...

I've been dreaming a lot of loose locks lately. Of course I'd never cut my dreads off, but still the dreams are KILLING ME.. I experienced my loose hair for months before it actually locked and I HATED dealing with it. It was brittle no matter what I did to it, always looked dry and combing? ForGET it!! My hair was such a hassle loose. Locked it looks better than it ever has and it's longer than it has been in YEARS..

And maybe that's the problem.. YEARS.. I'm working on my fourth year in locks. I have never gone this long with out cutting my hair off. I've been whacking it off since I was 14!! I'll let it grow then for some reason I'd see something wrong with it. Split ends, uneven.. JUST WANTED TO TRIM IT!! And I use to love that airy feeling I got when I finished snipping it off. :)

But I think this is the next level. The next test. I had to be patient and not obsess over my hair being even while it was locking. Not obsess about length. It did it in it's own time the way it wanted to. Now I have to pass this hurdle. The no cutting hurdle.. Something I did for 13 of my life.. Cut my hair. That must be why I suddenly am itching for the scissors.. Hmm.. Even the freeformed lock guru has issues with wanting to cut it off.. How hypocritical.. (looking at myself in my mental mirror ALL sideways. )

But this will pass. I think I'm in a rut with this thing. The mysticism has worn off locking and all that natural African Pride I had in the beginning. And all the 'enlightenment' and energy I was drawing through them has become stale and old. But cutting is not the answer. You'd never keep hair if that was the case. No I have to renew my strength in my locks. My faith and feeling. I have to concentrate on all the good things about my dreads and not the fact that I can't cut them and they will forever look the same. They have already proven that that's not true. They change every year. They get longer, flatter, even some have come loose, so I get to see all them curly ends. Another reason not to cut them.. Them ends be dryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy in the morning. :p And to imagine a whole head like that.. I'D HAVE SOME DAMAGED HAIR!! And it would be thick and all over for the world and myself to see.. I'd be so sorry if I chopped em off. And I know this.

So I'm compromising.. As a freeformer, I have lots of loose hair at the roots, I have the loose ends on some of them, I've been playing with it like loose hair as far as worring about breakage and moisture and all the things you'd do to natural loose hair. Just no combing or trimming. So I get to visit with my loose hair often. I think it helps me see that my hair is still HAIR.. Just coily curly hair... The locks are an addition. :)

Well, I guess I'm done ranting. I have to come to this thing more often.

Jen

I was in the market to buy a new home in GA!! I was all happy and excited.. We would get a little fixer upper and... Well... Fix it up! We found one.. Very inexpensive, but too much to pay cash for.. We figured (and "we" being my husband and I. :p ) we'd get a little bank loan for it, after all it was a foreclosed home on the banks site. Surely they'd be willing to give a loan for such a small amount. (And they were. Just needed to check the house out to make sure it was a good investment. Still.. NO problem..) But I'm getting ahead of myself.

So I contacted Macon Realty Group Inc.. They were the listing realtor. First thing, kind voice on the phone... Until I spoke..

Well.. What you have to know is you can HEAR the southerner in my tone first off.. The next thing you'll hear is BLACK.. OK, now having said that.. I'll continue..

First question. Are you a realtor, or broker, or just a person wanting to rent the house out? OK.. That's ok, honest question...

I messed up and said I wanted to buy it for a personal residence.. I wanted to live in it.. I can smack myself..

Now the neighbourhood and details behind it.. This is a HOOD.. Most of the houses are boarded up and vacant. It's an all black neighbourhood. I'm pretty sure there isn't even a MIXED COUPLE living in this hood. Now most of the time, Realtors and banks can't WAIT to unass this kinda property.

Side fact.. Across from the street this neighbourhood is on, is a new Marriot hotel being built. Now that's the kicker.. You know what happens when fancy places open up near a black neighbourhood. They 'clean up' the place. Meaning buying out all the black home owners at a 'good' price, build new homes there, sell em at a price 'those people' can never afford and white the place up. Seen it a million times. And it sucks everytime.. That was one of the reasons I wanted to buy the place. To try to keep the neighbourhood going.. Not just to be an all black hood, but not let those snobbish upity bastards get their way. Plus I wanted to buy that house. :)

Alright.. Now I've put my foot in it saying I wanted to live there... Before I could even tell her whether I was going to get a loan or just out right buy it.. (Hey there are rich black folks. Ever heard of Oprah? ) She just ASSumed I didn't have money and had to finance. I was a little offended, but wanted to remain polite.. I wanted this house.. Well, not even telling her that I was planning to finance, she ASSumed my black ass could not afford the house and that it would be a waste of 'both' of 'our' time for her to show the property.. I'm like, "FTW?!" What if I was some rich black person who wanted to 'take back' the neighbourhood? With that attitude, even if I wanted one of those $100,000 homes they showcase on the website, after that convo, I don't think I would be interested. From there, things would look up, and then spiral down hill. We found a realtor we trusted, and she showed the house to us, didn't really see a problem with the place. Even saw potential in it for us to fix up.. However, in the end the listing Realtor got her way and it was no deal.

In the end maybe it was for the best. I'm not one to argue with the universe and apparently that was not an area for me to live in . But it was a reminder of how far we've come, but still how far we have to go in this country. ESPECIALLY down here in the Dirty Dirty. :)