Half Way!!

I'm happy to report I am over half done taking down the locs! I think I have 20 left out of 52!! I washed that loose hair (Yes, lather and all. It's RARE, but I had to get 5 years worth of gunk off it!!) and that hair was so awesome!! It's so much better than I could have imagined! There were all these little curls in areas I looked to be only naps.. However some areas I looked for to be really curly are wavy at best, but it still looks nice. I had my other hair already in twists, I took them loose to see what my twist outs are gonna look like and I was FLOORED!! It was kinda messy, I mean it was freshly unlocked, not yet washed and no product was used to twist them with, so given all of that... It was awesome!! My hair is gonna really be beautiful.. Not that my locks aren't beautiful. And I will always be glad I grew them. But now it's time to get use to my loose hair. I mean, one day I'll be blessed with a little one.. And if I'm locked all the time, how will I know how to deal with her hair (If it's a girl that is.) I went straight from perm to locs.. Never really dealing with my hair.

Which means I am LOST! LoL! But I'll pull it together. :)

Jen

Thinking Back...

I was just thinking about a situation a long time ago. I had short hair then, and my husband and I went to Fredricks of Hollywood, and the clerk said as we entered with her big white girl grin, "What can I help you gentlemen with today?" Last time I looked I was not a gentleman.. She was embarassed as hell when she realized her mistake, but that is something to think about. The persuit of being FEMININE!! I seem to have lost mine somewhere along the line. My bastard ass husband blamed my short hair and clothing. I was wearing his leather jacket.. Or my build.. Can't do squat about that. I mean I can lose some weight, but I'm still gonna have the same wide shoulders as I do now, just bonier I guess.. I don't know.. I don't think he really understands what a woman feels.. Nor does he care to. I guess that's why I've got my blogs..

But now I'm taking down my locks.. Oh, and that was a major MAJOR issue.. My locking.. He called me all kinds of dikes and lesbians, and thugs.. It just wasn't even damn funny!! If it wasn't for my twilight sleep-esq love of my locks, I don't think I would have made it. I would have ran screaming back to the perm! But I took the red pill and all was revealed..

Or was it the blue one? It was a Matrix thing.. Or Alice in Wonderland.. Hell you get it..

I can't see myself getting a perm again.. Maybe one day a texturizer, but I don't even see that on the horizon. However when DH found out I was planning to take down my locks, his gears started turning immediately...

Towards me getting a perm... And when I said no... He flipped out. I mean called me all kinds of stupid bitches and everything.. And that I wasn't gonna like my regular hair, and I wasn't gonna be able to comb it and it was gonna be hideous, and ugly, and nappy and hard.. I mean just the most hurtful things about something I was born with, that is a part of my most natural, REAL self. Hmmm.. Seems he says a lot of hurtful things... But this is a hair blog, so I'm gonna stick with hair feelings...

I know my hair is not silky. I'm not white, and I'm not one of those first generation mixed kids.. I KNOW what my hair looks like.. But in my mind our hair is not ugly.. I mean if we don't do anything to it just let it stay dry and crusty, yeah that's ugly. But it would be even on his so called perfect type of hair.. But I've seen some hair that would be called the "rough stuff" and it looks FAB!!! Beautiful.. But those who think like him would say that bitch needs a perm, or that nigga needs a hair cut.. It's plain lunacy!!

I guess the point of all this, other than to just vent is you can't let others define you. You can't let people make you do things that you don't want to do. YOU KNOW YOU!! And I know "naps" are just tiny curls. They should be treated like curls.. I actually hate the term nappy.. I know I'll get a true flogging for that, but I do. Because it implies that our curls are lesser than a white persons or a mixed person- or anyone with big open curls and silky hair. That our hair is ugly and shouldn't be concidered hair.. It's just some nappy ass crap that needs to be covered or altered. Just plain vulgar. I just don't like the inplications.. That's all...

So I'm not using nappy anymore. I'm using curly from now on.. I may still use coily... And I'm not sure about coily either. But as I have a group called Springy Coils, I have to stand by coily for now. FOR... NOW.... LoL! I'm thinking of changing the title to something else that reflects this more equal status movement... I'll let yall know soon...

Well, I guess I'm done rambling for now. I'm going to try to get some picking done.. Maybe I'll get a couple taken down this weekend.. I can't wait to see my little springs free and thick.. Gonna be a real ride...

More to come...


Jen

Oh the hard... Hard... HARD....

WORK!!! Locs are hard to take down.. I see why people cut them instead of picking them apart...


BUT....

Smart ass me, decided to not cut my hair again... Well, not MAJOR cutting anyway. Maybe it's spiritual.. Maybe I just don't look good with small hair.. Either way.. No cutting... Right...


Anyway, I'm taking down I think my 5th loc. Which sucks cause when you're done, it's so skinny that you can join two.. NO you HAVE to join two just to get a good sized twist.. Seems not worth it and if you DON'T have a cutting vice, I say go ahead and just chop.. At least half the lock off if they are long as mine. (They're bra band length in some spots.)I would NOT be mad at cha. LoL!


But here I am picking. I found a small toothed comb in the bathroom (Might be mine... Maybe have been here when I moved in.. Not sure.) and I have my shoe needles or craft.. What the hell do you call 'em... NEEDLE POINT needles.. My hot conditioner water.. And I'm just picking... And the worry sets in....




These curls, though curls they are.. (I DO know that naps are just tiny curls..) They are little and they are... Kinda course... And in other spots they are kinda frizzy.. And I am a little scared as to how I'm going to pull all that into a nice head of hair.. Sure all hair is good hair.. But looking like a chicken is not a good look, boo boo... I have some starter products.. My LongAid activator, my Smooth N Shine gel... Some coconut oil as I've always used.. Or at least in the last couple years. But I'm thinking I'm going to need lots of products and mostly stick to twist outs instead of wash and goes cause I get loads of shrinkage, which is not entirely bad cause I get my big hair like that... But also because it would just friggin tangle so terribly that I'd never get it loose- I'd RElock and that's not what I'm going through all these hours of unpicking to do... Well, at least not right now... It's not out of the question to lock again.. Just right now.. I am wanting to dig these curls and coils for a minute... :)

DH is still thinking I need a perm or a texturizer or to texlax my hair for it to look right... Now, you know I am against chemicals in the hair and I'm going to try to prove him wrong.. I think I can.. But I don't condemn those who decide to process their hair anymore.. It's not worth the effort.. It's almost like telling white girls you don't need blond hair and double D's to be hot.. It just will end with you making them feel bad AND ugly because they can't grasp it and you'll just be damn TIRED.. Everyone knows what they need to do at that time to feel better.. Let 'em do it.. They'll come around sooner or later, and realize that "Hey.. I was made just as I was intended to be and whoever doesn't like it can suck it!" LoL! In any case, I think I'll convince MYSELF that my little curls are beautiful LOOOOOONG before I can convince DH that they are cute and beautiful and just as awesome as them big old silky curls. But it won't be easy.. Remember what I went through with him when I was locking? Yeah.. I'm looking to be in for the same kinda crap..

Anyway, I guess I'm done rambling.. I got over here to rest my hands and kinda give yall a taste of what I'm up to with the locked to loose journey. I should be able to get some taken down since I'm off for a week.. VACATION baby!! LoL!!


More to come.... :)

Jen